“Well now that we have seen each other,” said the Unicorn, “If you believe in me, I’ll believe in you.” -Lewis Carroll
I have had a life-long love of all things magic. Unicorns were my first love, followed up by fairies. Soon as I was able, I started buying unicorns and fairies, and getting them as gifts in return. One day, years ago, I bought some angels as gifts, and bought one for my self. One turned into two, and then I started receiving them as gifts as well. Eventually I ended up with a whole magical and heavenly host.
These magical and miraculous symbols always had places of honor, and attempted safety, in my room. However, after years of fighting overwhelm and depression, their haven has turned into a hellish, mini Hoarder’s type nightmare with laundry, both dirty and clean everywhere, and everything with a surface covered in wild disarray, dust, dirt, and shame.
And so, in this state, by one, my favorite angels have broken. My most favorite angel, a birthday gift from my parents, lost her wings the day my father in law passed away because I had overstuffed a drawer with sweaters, which made my beloved angel tip when I forcefully shut it. Another lost it’s wings being knocked over by a child. Many fell from my dresser, which has been piled with clothes and medicine and old water glasses. I even started just receiving angels that were already broken. I started thinking, what the heck is wrong with me that these holy creatures lose their grace just by coming to me? So finally I put my broken angels up on some shelves above our TV, one of them in three pieces, and there they have laid, protected by a thick layer of dark gray dust.
Last weekend, spurred by my husband folding clothes, and knowing I had no place to put them away ( and hadn’t for an embarrassingly long time) I started cleaning our room. I started with my dresser, and then moved on to my dressing table, and soon the laundry was bagged and taken to the laundry room. And in all that mess, I found the third piece of my latest broken angel, the one that was broken in three places. Then I prayed a prayer I have prayed many times; a prayer for restoration. I also prayed that we had superglue, which we did, ( hey, even the bible says all our cares and worries are important to God-1Peter 5:7) and I prayed as I worked to glue the pieces together. At first, I could not get them to stick. Here I had a heart full of faith, I thought, sure I could make this wrong right, and it wasn’t working. I continued to pray, thanking Spirit for restoration because I knew it was my truth through Grace. And I thanked God for showing that to me. I can’t tell you just why, but all I know is that finally, I just felt confident the angel would be whole, and I felt deeply loved, and the wings stuck. I think I had been trying so hard, but really I just had to accept. I can’t really describe the feeling of healing and release I felt, seeing this beautiful gift that I had broken through despair and neglect and giving up, becoming once again whole through accepting God’s grace and presence in my life.
Seeing we are more in Spirit and accepting that is the heart of hope, the heart of faith, heck the heart of love. I don’t think I ever explained why I changed the name of my blog. One day my neighbor and I were talking, and she told me her mentor had taught her the Greek meaning of the word hope, which is a confident expectancy. I was so excited, because I had always felt in my heart that hope was more than a longing. That true hope is knowing the truth, despite the appearances of things. Hope is knowing your truth is meant to be manifest through Divine Grace and Love. But obviously I had never had the words to succinctly and clearly express it. lol I want to affirm the reality of healing through faith in action, through grace, and through confident expectancy. The reality where a broken and lost angel’s wings were found a made whole again, where a dirty and wrecked room was recovered, and a hurting heart found some healing and peace, and magic.
Today’s Daily Word quotes 2 Corinthians 3:17 “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” When it comes down to it, what is magic but the realization that what seems finite in itself is infinite in it’s truth. That joy and creation are limitless when we don’t limit them. And most importantly, it is the realization that when we don’t limit God by basing our thinking on the past, God is limitless, within us, and waiting to show us just how much we can experience together!
Not a bad series of realizations from a bunch of broken angels. And speaking of which, a few weeks ago, I sat in bed, thinking about my broken angels, and had a realization. I realized my broken angels were there not to tell me that I was hopeless and without grace,which is just the scho of old voices in my head saying I’m not good enough to be happy. They were there to remind me that it’s in accepting grace, and showing it to others, that we are mended. So, I want to thank my magical and angelic guides. And I want to thank those in my life who give so much love to me. And I want to thank Spirit, for giving me wings.
Mystic Moose 
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